I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
