I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
