why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
