Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I want her autograph on my taint
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
