i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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