Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
