do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
