Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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