Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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