It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
