where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We just shotgunned beers for America
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
