he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
