He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
