I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you didnt know i had herpes?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
