i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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