A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
