I'm going to jail i love you
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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