I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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