Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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