When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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