I only kidnapped one of them. chill
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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