Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
