Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
