Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
