if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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