And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
