Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
