Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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