So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You left your underwear on the fireplace
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
