I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
