I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize