Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
