i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize