i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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