just tell him i said nine months
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
