I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
