At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
