"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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