Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
