she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize