We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
