Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
