He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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