and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
