Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize