It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We had to coat check the pizza.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
