It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
