he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
