Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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