my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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