Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
