found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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