pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My balls are so social today.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
