I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
