Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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