I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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