He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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