White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
my liver is dry heaving
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
