the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
