It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
