He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize