So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
